I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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