That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
