I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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