Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize