He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
