kristin has been a bad kristin
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
