how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
