Betty ford says i'm here all night
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
