You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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