i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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