I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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