Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
