I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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