that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
