I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
