If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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