I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
