My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Found your dick twin last night
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize