Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
