I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm sobbing to NWA
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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