We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
