The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
