i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize