Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I can text with my tongue
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
