im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
