So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
