very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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