cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
