she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
