so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
