Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
