just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Randomize
