whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
