What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I look better un-naked...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
