You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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