oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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