I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
