o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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