did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
