Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
