a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
