He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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