Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize