I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
