My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
