This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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