i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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