I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
