This girl is more easily done than said...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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