That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
