Don't make out with my wife yet
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
