Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
