East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
