best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Randomize
