Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
