Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
