Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
