In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
