youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
