Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
