I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize